AWAKENING, Poetry by Chelle Y. Stuart

 
JULY 18, 2016

SHELTERED FROM AIR & LIGHT, DARKNESS ENVELOPS WHAT IS LEFT OF MY SOUL
HEAVY, ECHOES OF MY LABORED BREATHING ARE THE ONLY SOUND.NOW.
HOLLOW I AM, MY FEEBLE & WEAKENED SHELL EATEN ALIVE BY THE PITS OF HELL
DISTANT & FOREIGN IS MY VOICE WHEN I TRY TO SPEAK, NOBODYS LISTENING

IN THIS PLACE I HAVE BEEN EVERYTHING AND I AM NOTHING, HOW CAN I EXIST?
RESULTS OF A FRACTURED MIND, MY SURVIVAL, MY DEMISE, IT IS MY PSYCHOSIS
IT IS MY EVERY FEAR & WORRY BALLED UP INSIDE ME, RETRACTING FROM ITSELF
THIS TANGLED MESS HAS BEEN MY SURVIVAL & MY STRENGTH, WHAT HAS KEPT ME ALIVE.

I HAVE BEEN HERE IN THIS PLACE FOR SO LONG THAT I DON’T WANT TO COME OUT
THE LIGHT WILL HURT MY EYES THE AIR WILL BURN MY LUNGS, SO I STAY
DAYS, MONTHS, YEARS COULD HAVE PASSED BY NOW, THERE IS NO WAY TO TELL
I AM HOLDING ONTO LIFE WITHOUT REALIZING THAT I AM ALSO HOLIDNG ONTO DEATH

SO I GIVE IN & TRY TO TRUST WHAT LIES ABOVE ME, NOT YET BELIEVING
JUST DECIDING TO TRY & STEP AWAY FROM THE DARK PLACE TO SEE IF I CAN
TO FEEL WHAT I HAVE FORGOTTEN, TO KNOW IF I WILL PERISH BECAUSE OF IT
MY BODY ACHES FROM BEING IN THIS POSITION, MY MIND IS FOGGY & UNCLEAR
THE PAIN IN MY CHEST BECOMES GREATER & MY VISION PLAYS OUT LKE A MOVIE

FADING IN & OUT, SOUNDS NOT PRIMARY JUST BACKGROUND NOISE, A FILLER
EVERY SENSE EVENTUALLY HEIGHTENED, COLORS SO VIBRANT, I CAN ALMOST FEEL AGAIN
THINGS FEEL STRANGE YET FAMILIAR, HAVE I BEEN TO THIS NEW PLACE BEFORE?
I AM UNSURE, UNSTEADY, I FEEL SO OUT OF PLACE HERE CAN’T I JUST GO BACK?

I WANT TO RETREAT BUT I AM BLOCKED, A FORCE STRONGER THAN I WONT LET ME
IT’S TOO HARD TO LIVE HERE, I WON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO OR HOW TO EXIST HERE

I AM TOO TIRED TO FIGHT THIS, SO I HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT I AM WHAT IS NOW
I AM NOT WHAT I WAS AND CANNOT BE WHAT WILL BE, JUST WHAT IS NOW
HERE, WHERE TIME HASN’T STOPPED I MUST REMEMBER HOW TO DO THIS AGAIN
I AM AFRAID, I AM LOST, I AM ALONE JUST AS I WAS IN THE DARK PLACE
ONLY HERE I AM NOT REALLY ALONE AND I DESPISE THE CHATTER, ITS TOO LOUD
MAYBE I WONT HAVE TO STAY HERE TOO LONG, I WANT TO GO HOME
WHERE I WAS, WHERE I BELONG, WHERE I AM WELCOME TO STAY FOREVER

 
Genres: dark,life,fight,rebirth,spiritual
 

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