You have no right to ask how I am
And no right to an answer
No right even to the thought occuring
Or the breath that bore it
That breathed our moment
In vengeful violence
Spitting and seething spite
In dark deluded condemnation
Of everything you claimed once right.
You have no right to the friendship
That you beat up
And threatened death to the life that bore it
But unabashed and unforgiven
You assume it
Say you don’t need forgiving
He was due it
You’re the master and there’s no chance
He could ever do it.
You have no right to claim regret
No right to say you are sorry
When to every other face is a different story
Where malice remains the prince amonst principalities
And you justify revenge with vivid stories
With you as the chosen one
With you enlightened and not undone.
You have no right to claim to see the truth
Or to be it’s living example
To uphold yourself as one of the few
Yet in the face of everything
This is what you do.
To god and yourself you must justify
Delusion that you can’t deny
Only you can answer why
Only then you cannot lie.
SHELTERED FROM AIR & LIGHT, DARKNESS ENVELOPS WHAT IS LEFT OF MY SOUL
HEAVY, ECHOES OF MY LABORED BREATHING ARE THE ONLY SOUND.NOW.
HOLLOW I AM, MY FEEBLE & WEAKENED SHELL EATEN ALIVE BY THE PITS OF HELL
DISTANT & FOREIGN IS MY VOICE WHEN I TRY TO SPEAK, NOBODYS LISTENING
IN THIS PLACE I HAVE BEEN EVERYTHING AND I AM NOTHING, HOW CAN I EXIST?
RESULTS OF A FRACTURED MIND, MY SURVIVAL, MY DEMISE, IT IS MY PSYCHOSIS
IT IS MY EVERY FEAR & WORRY BALLED UP INSIDE ME, RETRACTING FROM ITSELF
THIS TANGLED MESS HAS BEEN MY SURVIVAL & MY STRENGTH, WHAT HAS KEPT ME ALIVE.
I HAVE BEEN HERE IN THIS PLACE FOR SO LONG THAT I DON’T WANT TO COME OUT
THE LIGHT WILL HURT MY EYES THE AIR WILL BURN MY LUNGS, SO I STAY
DAYS, MONTHS, YEARS COULD HAVE PASSED BY NOW, THERE IS NO WAY TO TELL
I AM HOLDING ONTO LIFE WITHOUT REALIZING THAT I AM ALSO HOLIDNG ONTO DEATH
SO I GIVE IN & TRY TO TRUST WHAT LIES ABOVE ME, NOT YET BELIEVING
JUST DECIDING TO TRY & STEP AWAY FROM THE DARK PLACE TO SEE IF I CAN
TO FEEL WHAT I HAVE FORGOTTEN, TO KNOW IF I WILL PERISH BECAUSE OF IT
MY BODY ACHES FROM BEING IN THIS POSITION, MY MIND IS FOGGY & UNCLEAR
THE PAIN IN MY CHEST BECOMES GREATER & MY VISION PLAYS OUT LKE A MOVIE
FADING IN & OUT, SOUNDS NOT PRIMARY JUST BACKGROUND NOISE, A FILLER
EVERY SENSE EVENTUALLY HEIGHTENED, COLORS SO VIBRANT, I CAN ALMOST FEEL AGAIN
THINGS FEEL STRANGE YET FAMILIAR, HAVE I BEEN TO THIS NEW PLACE BEFORE?
I AM UNSURE, UNSTEADY, I FEEL SO OUT OF PLACE HERE CAN’T I JUST GO BACK?
I WANT TO RETREAT BUT I AM BLOCKED, A FORCE STRONGER THAN I WONT LET ME
IT’S TOO HARD TO LIVE HERE, I WON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO OR HOW TO EXIST HERE
I AM TOO TIRED TO FIGHT THIS, SO I HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT I AM WHAT IS NOW
I AM NOT WHAT I WAS AND CANNOT BE WHAT WILL BE, JUST WHAT IS NOW
HERE, WHERE TIME HASN’T STOPPED I MUST REMEMBER HOW TO DO THIS AGAIN
I AM AFRAID, I AM LOST, I AM ALONE JUST AS I WAS IN THE DARK PLACE
ONLY HERE I AM NOT REALLY ALONE AND I DESPISE THE CHATTER, ITS TOO LOUD
MAYBE I WONT HAVE TO STAY HERE TOO LONG, I WANT TO GO HOME
WHERE I WAS, WHERE I BELONG, WHERE I AM WELCOME TO STAY FOREVER