My soul grows cold when I let reality take up space
I hate its taste fragility laced and I want to erase it from the books
I’m hooked to frozen in time that’s where my mind finds peace
No intrusions please or you will meet with hands that bleed holding tightly
To what only my heart and God can comprehend
It’s like there is no end and yet I end
Loop over and over again. Lost black hole of dreams
Leaving me and on repeat continuously. They defeat and comfort me.
It’s love and insanity.
Half of me incomplete… beat
Missing pulse. I am lost having loss
In a haze that’s constantly afraid
Of seeing. Because then what’s the meaning when all is leaving and has left
Sometimes I hold my breath
Because the thought is more than I can bare
Or everything that I hold dear…
The affliction of the juxtaposition of joy and pain.
I hurt because I know and yet moments, I wished I hadn’t.
Leaving me breathless in abundant love that could not and cannot sustain tangibly
From dust to dust
It’s too much.
So I retreat into me. Silently.
©Rebel Fleur 2020