Read Poem by Ntokozo Makeleni

You passed away before me
I was really sure that you’d live another day again
You convulsed and I tried to shake you back to life
I had no idea that you were dying
A last breath I thought would breathe you to life
A last shake I thought was mere discomfort
A last blink I thought sight as usual
And a last sigh I thought was struggle with communication
You were dying and I had no idea
I was never prepared
Never rehearsed
Never knew this is how your ending would be
Never knew this is how endings and deaths look
I kissed you goodbye and thought the grief would leave with you, but it stayed with me
A cold, crippling stream of grief engraved its roots and interconnected through my dna
I was now a fatherless child
A depressed one
A moved, shaken and damaged one
A broken one
A child given loss on a silver platter
I became spoilt goods
Unworthy of a father
Unworthy of your silence
Unworthy of the thoughts and unsaid words in the silence
Unworthy of your embrace again
Unworthy of your wisdom, smile, laughter, cheek kisses and prayer
A speechless poet
I can’t even utter a word anymore
Can’t even describe what it felt like
Can’t even bring the therapist to understanding to giving the right diagnosis through my communication
I hope one day my words will speak me and revive me and give life to a heart as lifeless as mine


Author: poetryfest

Submit your Poetry to the Festival. Three Options: 1) To post. 2) To have performed by an actor 3) To be made into a film.

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