Read Poetry: Don’t Listen to Harry, by Wayne E. Johnson

Business was slow,
I had nothing to do.
I sat in my office,
Tying my shoe.

I sat there in silence,
And stared at the clock.
And wished it were Friday,
Or at least 12 o’clock.

Too early for lunch,
Too late for a break.
I tapped on my desk,
No decisions to make.

So all I could do,
Was to sit, sit, sit, sit!
Put my feet on the desk,
And not give a…crap.

Then something went bump!
My chair crashed to the floor.
I looked up and saw Harry,
Peeking in through the door.

“Let’s take early lunch,
Don’t lie there like that.
Let’s go to that men’s club,
The Cat in the Hat.”

“The beers are twelve dollars,”
I said with a frown.
“But the girls,” Harry said,
“Are the best ones in town.”

“They have one named Sally,
At The Cat in the Hat,
Who spins both her tassels,
One this way, one that.”

“She does quite a pole dance,
I’m happy to say,
Will leave your head numb,
For the rest of the day.”

“She’ll give you a lap dance,
For ten dollars more,
We’ll have lots of fun,
So get up off the floor.”

The boss was away,
So who was to know.
If we took early lunch
And went off to the show?

“Miss Fish,” Harry said,
“We are going to lunch.”
“Lunch?” said Miss Fish,
“Why it’s just time for brunch.”

“You should not be gone,
While the boss is away.
Clients may call,
While you’re gone half the day.”

“Don’t listen to Harry,”
Miss Fish said to me.
“He’ll get you in trouble,
You just wait and see.”

“Stay away from that men’s club
The Cat in the Hat.”
Harry said to Miss Fish,
“Don’t you fret about that.”

We walked to the strip mall,
Not far away,
“Here’s the Cat in the Hat!”
Harry said, “Let’s go play!”

The place was quite dark,
We sat at the bar,
I drank twelve-dollar beers,
Waiting there for the star.

The lights all came up,
The music did, too.
And here was blond Sally,
G-string one, tassels two.

I glanced over at Harry,
Then up at the star,
She went into her act,
And we drooled on the bar.

We should not be here,
While the boss is away,
But heck with the job,
For the rest of the day.

Sally cranked up
Tassel two, tassel one,
And got them both spinning,
We were in for some fun.

The club was half empty,
Still early today,
But those patrons went crazy,
Tassels spinning that way.

Sally then stopped,
Tassel one, tassel two,
She climbed on her pole,
We had quite a view.

She slipped ‘round the pole,
Pushing in, pushing out.
She looked right down at us,
Red lips in a pout.

The crowd began shouting,
And stomped on the floor.
They cried, “Come on, Sally,
More, more, more, more.”

She spun even faster,
Than ever before,
I guzzled my beer,
And then ordered one more.

Sally twisted and twirled,
Jumped down on the bar,
The crowd was now frantic,
For the blond dancing star.

Harry was wild,
He climbed up on the bar,
Gyrating with Sally,
The pole-dancing star.

Since I was now sweating,
I chugged down my beer.
And ordered another,
A man with no fear.

I should have been worried,
For we were now late,
My money was gone,
But I felt just great.

I drank the last beer,
My head doing spins,
Faster than Sally,
And her tassel twins.

Harry jumped down,
And onto his seat,
Sally was done,
She had made her retreat.

The crowd was still wild,
Clapping, shouting for more,
But I said to Harry,
“Let’s head for the door.”

“Why?” Harry asked.
“Sally soon will be here.
You’ll miss out on a lap dance.
Just have one more beer.”

“I’m all out of money,
I’ve had too much beer,
So I can’t buy a lap dance
Do I make myself clear?”

Harry just sat,
As I walked toward the door,
Past men shouting, “Sally!
More, more, more, more!”

I stumbled back
To the office that day.
Miss Fish shook her head,
As I wobbled her way.

“You turned a deaf ear,
When I warned you to stay.
The boss wants to see you.”
She pointed the way.

I straightened my tie,
And tried to stand tall.
But my legs felt like mush,
As I walked down the hall.

The boss saw me coming,
He stood in his door.
Then folded his arms,
As I tripped ‘cross the floor.

The boss asked, “Where were you?”
I had nothing to lose,
So I said, “Oh, a late lunch.”
And barfed on his shoes.

The point of this tale,
Miss Fish told me that,
Is: Don’t go with Harry,
To the Cat in the Hat.