Hollow sin-Eater searching empty roads
A barefoot traveler with bleeding soles
This hateful living for the sake of death
Your guilty feast taken and laid to rest
I count the grapevines on the tablecloth,
Twenty-six twine on my side by the broth.
I count the bubbles in the champagne glass
And dread the moment Mom starts to give thanks.
We hold hands to form a shatterproof chain,
I spot the rusty link but I restrain
Myself. I am thankful, I am. Yeah sure.
Dear brother, you’re home, you have found a cure.
Oh, they all stood to kiss you! They don’t smell
The stench of penitentiary, the hell
That you dragged in with the crushed autumn leaves.
A “brand new man” yet I do not believe.
But let’s go around! Why not, let’s have more
Empty chatter. Go on, tell Dad to pour
Us the dessert wine. We can spin like this,
Ignoring the taste of ash and grit.
I smile and nod, try not to bear my teeth.
Our vacuumed rugs hide the dirt underneath.
There’s still some laughter when I rearrange
The pie crumbs into star maps. We exchange
A polite “bless you” when we share a sneeze
But I won’t stretch to look above my knees.
Back then, I swear I thought you to be brave,
We’d tip toe in the dark to stay up late.
But now, a fallen statue cracked by sin,
I finally see your tattooed, human skin.
I cringe with shame as family leaves the room.
A twisted guilt somehow ensnares me too.
Just like these grapevines connecting like dots,
Every year we’ll tangle til’ we rot.
Where’s the fucking rizla’s man
I just need a fucking smoke
to take the edge off
starting with just one almighty toke.
This week’s been shit
I have to say, today’s been much the same
let’s smoke ’til I can’t see her face
and can’t recall their names.
She said that I’m an addict.
Yeah, what does she fucking know
a few pills every weekend
and a little bit of blow.
A spliff for breakfast every day
to help me on my feet
and a couple more at bedtime,
but that’s just to help me sleep.
Beers with the lads at dinner time
before it’s back to work
and a swift one after clocking off.
It’s an early finish perk.
I love my life! There’s nothing wrong!
I’ll never change a thing!
There isn’t a drinking game exists
that I can’t fucking win!
How could she ever understand
or find ways to forgive?
She must think I’m some
useless selfish bastard fucking div!
There are thing I tried to tell her,
but how could I ever say –
I think of ways to end my life
about fifteen times a day.
She never lets me see the kids
it breaks my fucking heart!
She says I’m unpredictable,
but she knew that from the start.
School, foster homes and prison
none of it did me no good
I was born and dragged up fighting.
Surviving any way I could!
I’ve been this way from being fourteen
life will never be no different.
Pissed and stoned forever
from a forty plus delinquent.
A taunting secret,
I must keep.
It constantly haunts me
even as I sleep.
I tucked it way down
in the deep,
but to the surface
it begins t slowly creeps.
Lives will be lost
if this demon gets out.
So into my pillow,
this secret, I shout.
I am very trustworthy
at keeping things silent,
but this horrendous thing
is making me violent.
Someone I know
got weak, you see,
and those vicious words
were passed to me.
I made a promise
not to tell.
Now, my once happy life
is unwanted hell.
[Hey you Mr. Chan out there.
Miss Chanadler Bong,
Yes you.
Do you even know,
what’s happening.
Does it even bother you ?
There is this random girl
At the other end.
Turning into Mon just for your sake.
She has cooked a million stories
How you would meet,
Organised all dates
And cross referenced it.
Though being moustache obsessed
She has settled for a clean shaven Bing.
Oh Dear Mr. Chan Chan Man,
Where have you been.
Is she looking out too far
And you have been around,
Or should she travel to another Nation
For a wedding profound.
Fall head over heels,
Fight for her needs.
And get her what she dreams ,
One of each kind atleast.
That’s all dear Bunny she has to say.
Waiting for your call kneeling near the teller.
Hope to see you soon,
I think that I’m starting to move on
It’s not easy but just carry on
I’ve done all the things that could distract me from thinking about him
But I just really could not get rid of my feelings towards him
My heart was broken like a glass that fell from a table
At first I thought we were unbreakable
Everything that I think about you was wrong
Didn’t know that loving you could turn out wrong
We were once so happy
When I haven’t tell you yet this kind of feelings that makes me giddy
Everytime you sit and talk to me
There’s still no awkward feeling you get when you’re with me
I now regret all the wrong decisions I made
All of the things you said cuts like a blade
You won’t even care when you see me bleed
If there’s a bidding to save me you wont bid
But hey, guess what?
Thanks for all of that
Now I know what I really want
Not a guy that would just taste a gum and spit it out
You wasted your chance
You already got me in your hands
But you still chose to break my heart
Now, goodbye,I wont be chasing a guy that has a cold stone heart
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