Mangoes is a queer, cinematic collaboration between Canadian spoken word artist, Andrew Warner, and Mexican writer-director, Sofia Auza. It explores the relationship between two friends with several mental illnesses through visual poetry and spoken word.
A short film about mental illness and a couple of friends.
Written and performed by Andrew Warner.
Shot, directed, and edited by Sofia Auza.
Epic Gothic tale
A somewhat artist friend of mine asked me stately meet to dine
And sure enough without no quiver a horse drawn carriage had delivered
Me from ones abode so cold draped my shoulders cloak of bold
And unsurprised by candle light the carriage master cracked a strike
The two strong steeds did quickly carry
My bones and skin were yet to marry
Over cobbled roads then tracks
The city lights had faded black
Snorting nostrils flailed saliva
Relentless whip cracks braced the driver
Headlong fast grazed open fields
We race toward Lord Manderbeels
As two makes one as one makes right it often takes the chance that might
We share alone our own appraisal and fortune dine at others tables
When chance arose and of thine breast a nervous beating filled my chest
As if a mist or sprite dust moon had somehow faded through my gloom
A taste of dread and fiery leather
An ink well smudge contained by letter
An endless longing plagued my head a crimson sun of ghost white red
Over the fields on horse drawn wheels
Over the fields to Manderbeels
The stately gates my eyes did view I recollect I thought of you
Hidden deeply in your slumber lovelorn breathless shrouded lover
Inside your hidden solemn shrine your fruitless cherry lips of thine
Do speak no more laments of larks or madrigals to melt my heart
No longer shall our limbs entwine
No languished kiss caress nor sign
No lightning bolt to break my thunder
Just I alone without my lover
I alone fast horse drawn wheels
I alone to Manderbeels
The horses failed in such a hurry the drivers face a mud splashed slurry
He broke the reigns and bowed his hat with eloquence of streamlined rat
A murmured whisper broke my ear ” beg pardon sir, we are now here”
A step thrown down with such disparage as I descended from the carriage
Yet time stopped still, no cogs no wheels
Time stood still at Manderbeels
At first perhaps on casional morn the frost may first concur with dawn
Yet as its sullen glint line crashes sunlight burns away its ashes
Leaving lost abundant feelings time for thoughts and time for dreamings
Freezing sorrow ice melt frost ultraviolet fire bleached loss
Infiltrate the hair line cracks go forth the days of looking back
Tense the strength of hidden pleasure unaware its at our leisure
Unaware its at our heels
Unaware at Manderbeels
Now as ones psyche twinkles bright alas that God forsaken night
It had but found its cloak and cane and swiftly parted from my brain
It found its hat in such a hurry it gave no time for fear or worry
It gave no time yet half insane broke all but glimpse of earthly chains
It rattled through my bones precisely
Joyous,unashamed,unsightly
It left my body grasping leather
Wind swept hairline seeking weather
My soul would rather taste the steel
My soul slipped grasp at Manderbeels
And now I stand but steps away
I’ve often wondered,wished and prayed
For chance the chance I have right now
Remove the frown lines from thine brow
Dissolve all trace of shallow grave
Unmask the earth from china glaze
Connect the eyes of thine eyes gaze
Exchange the sallow silky haze
No cataracts to blind loves wonder
No withered lilies bending under
A silhouette made turn my heels
The silhouette of Manderbeel
Inverted night lights shine my face
Informing eager eyes that gaze
That i show fear from mine eyes gaze
And bitter sweet regrets that save
All tortures bitten from thine grace
As eloquent as new thread lace
Hello old friend,my blood congealed
Hello old friend spake Manderbeel
I follow him by beckoned light
Ascending stairs of marble white
Until ten pass we reach a door
The entrance I where once before
Did enter to the house of pain
As dripping feelings fill my brain
As tender teardrops weep with rain
And all that lays as naked chained
Go through the door let past times heal
Release your thoughts of Manderbeel
As now as sure as I stand cold
A hand shake smile with grey roots rolled
Has shaken tightest grip of bold
And shivered through my very soul
As turning arm does point past fold
To garnished splendour draped with gold
And finery from all the globe
“Come grace my table Andrew Peel”
“It’s been a while Lord Manderbeel”
As I stand as if to stare adjacent to my out pulled chair
I realise what now is there underneath the candles glare
The licking dancing burning flames shine like diamonds filled with pain
As I alone connect my pain to languished orchards in thy name
And prey inside to break remains of tortured souls that writhe in pain
Whilst chained to tables naked drained
“Sit my boy”, the banquet squealed
A gong banged loud at Manderbeels
The eunuch man-boy trayed in wine
Of two out three I did decline
Until my pallet settled fine
A taste accustomed to my spine,a laudanum laced cherry brine
The same I had that other time
When lips so sweet I did confine to everlasting blackened night
And prayed that she returned to light
As feelings burst the wretched plight that chase my senses through delight
The angered madness lost insight and crimsoned eyelids filled with sprite
A silver knife wrapped tight white steel
I aim my lunge for Manderbeel
He gazed then grasped my knuckled lance
“Andrew Peel you are entranced,your eyes have glazed your pupils prance
like times before when lovers danced awash with juice from poppy branch
your clouded judgement longs to reel
your smile has cracked with tinctured zeal
inside our realm we have to deal the cruellest cards so we can feel
the bleeding that the tortured seal
and turn our backs on all that’s real”
“Refrain”
“Refrain”
Her fate lay sealed
“Refrain”
“Refrain”
Gasped Manderbeel.
Dale Clement 2013.
In the night I see no light,
When it starts I never stop.
Like a fight of no turning back
When you were mine I’ll lose your mind.
Take me to a heavenly desire
Bring me to an addictive drive.
An imagery of flesh and lust
Sinking in an spiritless love
My eyes were veiled by beautification
My ears were covered by pleasing sounds
My body is paralyzed like a “Man I Kin”.
My heart is confused between love and lust.
Dear Eve why you took the fruit of ecstasy
Dear Adam why you ate the fruit of temptation
Dear satan what had you done
Dear Me what you’ll gonna do.
In the world where lying is normal
In the age where Pornography is a ritual
In a life where heart is just a pumping machine
In a room where there’s no Love only Lust.
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Uncertainty is crowding my mind,
Like clouds heavy with rain
With conflicting thoughts crushing my brain,
Leaving waves of doubts behind,
Am afraid am losing the war to the fear
The fear of the unknowns
My mind is under siege
With winds of doubts cruising to and fro
Causing blurred visions and swiping out
dreams
I have no peace of mind the nightmares have
taken root
Too many decisions to make
Very little time, they are argent
My mind has become a double agent
Torn between the Do’s and the Don’t s
Doubts casting brain incisions
Haunted by a lonely feeble but persistent
voice
A voice that has only one question… “What
if?”
I’m Running out of time , yet am lacking
precision
An Old friend is back in town
He wants us to meet and catch up
I know we need to catch up for old time’s
sake
But, What if…?
What if this ain’t a coincidence?
What if he is changed to wrong?
There is a new girl next door
She is beautiful
i know i like her
And i think she likes me too
I can tell from the way she looks at me
Especially when am working out
I should ask her out instead of staying
indoors time in time out
But…What if?
What if my feelings for her are not
profound?
What if its just another infatuation??
What if it will end up as another fring??
Am tired after work
The sun is setting on the horizon
It’s a nice sight by the shore
I should take a walk by the sea as i enjoy the
the breeze to help me unwind
But …What if?
What if the wind blows too strong
Too strong for the banks to hold and water
comes running ashore and carries me whole???
What if…?What if…?What if…Am just
swimming in
fears of the unknown???
What If????!!!
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When you was in the world My heart beat a little faster My song was more in tune
When you left it there was disaster
And I know I will leave it soon But Will I find You again I want to make amends You were my adventure My greatest love
My Fire My Pure from above I knew You were meant for me But Frankly You scared me silly and I did have pause If not the Greatest cause To run and I did! I ran far and wide I tried to forget! I lied but In my mind and heart you steadfastly remained Like a blood stain you can’t bleach away that pain A crater on Mars that will last till end of days It’s remarkable to me that so much pain and misery also draws such excitement and longing Such wishes and even if wrong it was good There was something given from above A rich long lasting thundering love but It was for naught because the pain was so intense no matter what was meant what was earth shattering was horror gathering caught between heaven and hell a clear hesitant bell to say run Run RUN and I did being the coward I am I couldn’t wouldn’t stand my ground because you swept it out from under me and I drowned in your excellency but burned in the pain of our destiny I called I asked forgiveness Told you I always did and always would have This heaviness My heart rolls around and from time to time remembers the white hot excellent love but quickly dims like a shooting star shot above It’s pain that replaces the exquisite It’s the pain I can’t resist The fear and betrayal of all My world turned upside down My scratching and clinging to sanity when all was calamity intermixed with you so I the fool just loved you for fifty years and remember thru all my misery and tears and try to think on the good like all proper people should and unglued the bad that we had but now You are gone And I know For the emptiness is low and so remember When you was in the world and my heart curdled and curled around your being and I hope one day to seeing you One more time Then I remember You were mine before anyone else but now theres nothing and the world is never kind even if I was blind Take that part of me with you I miss it but I’ve grown used to a partial heart it’s never mended just kept on beating without it being whole it’s all I know.
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Performed by Elizabeth Rose Morriss
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