Intro: “A 9-year-old Alabama girl is dead after her grandmother and stepmother … Police say the girl was ordered to run for 3 hours as punishment for lying to her.”
Tears of Remorse
Forgive me
Forgive me
I only wanted your heart
Forgive my deception
Forgive my lies
I am but a child
I only want your love
See my tears of remorse
have pity upon my small soul
On and forwards I go
every day a blur
I want to come from the shadows into the light
I want your hand to take me there
Please…love me
please care for me
I want to go round and round
in the bright days of tomorrow
Procreation is a dying breed;
I am its hope, a sighing seed.
Nestled amongst foliage,
I hide from my heritage
between cavernous spaces
of Autumn’s dead leaves.
Coming from an old growth orchard,
it’s expected that I carry on our lineage.
Deforestation,
family ties uprooted,
all the deadfall;
I’ll live in the moss of their graveyard.
Ancient bloodlines circle through me,
but I won’t spin its rings.
Monumental pillars bracing infinite sky –
royal sentinels history, long collapsed;
an apathetic seed left tracing time elapsed.
This is why stars fall.
I will not grow tall.
Oh no, I will stay small.
I will remain insignificant.
I am a contrarious seed.
In the wake of another crashing giant,
leaves rustle through its thunder,
but I hold, I hold; still I hold defiant.
This is why stars fall
and will continue to do so,
until our great phratry is no more.
The orchard’s seed and the falling of stars –
How I yearn for that day to come.
Hollow sin-Eater searching empty roads
A barefoot traveler with bleeding soles
This hateful living for the sake of death
Your guilty feast taken and laid to rest
SHELTERED FROM AIR & LIGHT, DARKNESS ENVELOPS WHAT IS LEFT OF MY SOUL
HEAVY, ECHOES OF MY LABORED BREATHING ARE THE ONLY SOUND.NOW.
HOLLOW I AM, MY FEEBLE & WEAKENED SHELL EATEN ALIVE BY THE PITS OF HELL
DISTANT & FOREIGN IS MY VOICE WHEN I TRY TO SPEAK, NOBODYS LISTENING
IN THIS PLACE I HAVE BEEN EVERYTHING AND I AM NOTHING, HOW CAN I EXIST?
RESULTS OF A FRACTURED MIND, MY SURVIVAL, MY DEMISE, IT IS MY PSYCHOSIS
IT IS MY EVERY FEAR & WORRY BALLED UP INSIDE ME, RETRACTING FROM ITSELF
THIS TANGLED MESS HAS BEEN MY SURVIVAL & MY STRENGTH, WHAT HAS KEPT ME ALIVE.
I HAVE BEEN HERE IN THIS PLACE FOR SO LONG THAT I DON’T WANT TO COME OUT
THE LIGHT WILL HURT MY EYES THE AIR WILL BURN MY LUNGS, SO I STAY
DAYS, MONTHS, YEARS COULD HAVE PASSED BY NOW, THERE IS NO WAY TO TELL
I AM HOLDING ONTO LIFE WITHOUT REALIZING THAT I AM ALSO HOLIDNG ONTO DEATH
SO I GIVE IN & TRY TO TRUST WHAT LIES ABOVE ME, NOT YET BELIEVING
JUST DECIDING TO TRY & STEP AWAY FROM THE DARK PLACE TO SEE IF I CAN
TO FEEL WHAT I HAVE FORGOTTEN, TO KNOW IF I WILL PERISH BECAUSE OF IT
MY BODY ACHES FROM BEING IN THIS POSITION, MY MIND IS FOGGY & UNCLEAR
THE PAIN IN MY CHEST BECOMES GREATER & MY VISION PLAYS OUT LKE A MOVIE
FADING IN & OUT, SOUNDS NOT PRIMARY JUST BACKGROUND NOISE, A FILLER
EVERY SENSE EVENTUALLY HEIGHTENED, COLORS SO VIBRANT, I CAN ALMOST FEEL AGAIN
THINGS FEEL STRANGE YET FAMILIAR, HAVE I BEEN TO THIS NEW PLACE BEFORE?
I AM UNSURE, UNSTEADY, I FEEL SO OUT OF PLACE HERE CAN’T I JUST GO BACK?
I WANT TO RETREAT BUT I AM BLOCKED, A FORCE STRONGER THAN I WONT LET ME
IT’S TOO HARD TO LIVE HERE, I WON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO OR HOW TO EXIST HERE
I AM TOO TIRED TO FIGHT THIS, SO I HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT I AM WHAT IS NOW
I AM NOT WHAT I WAS AND CANNOT BE WHAT WILL BE, JUST WHAT IS NOW
HERE, WHERE TIME HASN’T STOPPED I MUST REMEMBER HOW TO DO THIS AGAIN
I AM AFRAID, I AM LOST, I AM ALONE JUST AS I WAS IN THE DARK PLACE
ONLY HERE I AM NOT REALLY ALONE AND I DESPISE THE CHATTER, ITS TOO LOUD
MAYBE I WONT HAVE TO STAY HERE TOO LONG, I WANT TO GO HOME
WHERE I WAS, WHERE I BELONG, WHERE I AM WELCOME TO STAY FOREVER
Tell me darkness, where have your been?
The woods have stalked me.
The pavement has ridden my soul.
And, my city streets have turned cold.
Do not deny me…for that in which I have been destined.
Madness has offended you.
But it is my imaginary friend.
As the state has hand picked those upon my family tree,
yesterday was their’s to own.
Yet, this is my unhinged bedroom door…
This, this aching constant gardening of backdoor pondering…
Is a vacant ghost, immune to pathological monitoring.
At the hand of my father, an insanity plea.
At the feet of my mother, bloodied masks of melancholy.
The whole body of truth, the child…
Is a mad generation…set free.
Never enough time to say goodbye
Walking through this life unaware of how fast it flies
People in and out never seem to stay and slowly start to fade away
Simplicity evaporates as light begins to dissipate
Purity replaced by death and troubled times
Within the blink of an eye your life is slowly going out
Life is to short to sit and sweat the small stuff
Now it’s time to say goodbye your life flashes you by
There’s only one thing left to say and that’s to enjoy everyday
Set my body free
I wasnt born for you to think
You can make fun of me
Just because you’re my mother
does not mean i aint got no rights
While you’re wasting your life
I got other battles to fight
And i am not your slave
No im a human being
My brain’s 50% unrealistic dreams
I live in the future
Think about that too much
What should i do before i die
And can we be reborn ?
A hell of a question
Will it ever be solved ?
How can we know its fake
If it never happened before ?
I got a lot of questions
And way too many plans
So i hope you get out of my life before i make mine end.
My Demons
There is a fear I face everyday
Alone, darkness swiftly invades
Trapped by these four walls
No escape as my heart falls
Silence unfolds in a mysterious way
As my demons come out to play
I try to run and hide
But you see my demons, they live inside,
Desperately I try to ignore
As my sanity slips through the door,
Not knowing if what I’m seeing is real
I stab myself to see if I feel
The wound I’ve inflicted begins to bleed
My demons rejoice, for this is what they need
Reluctantly, I accept the gift they bring
Around my neck, I’ll hang from a string
Lights grow dim, I begin wheezing
Distantly I hear a faint screaming
Someone has come in to save me
They clean up my wounds,
I swallow the pills they give me
For now my demons have gone away
But I know tonight when they come out to play
They’ll want to kill whoever got in the way.
His eyes are ocean blue, wide with excitement. He loved me. He cherished me. He laughed with me.
Wanting to touch his new friend. I hunger for him. His companionship. His warmth. Know me he not.
I revisit today with anticipation. The stares piercing. His eyes, the color of night. The long gaze sends a volt of lightning into my heart. The knife dipped in poison is thrust deep into my heart. The aim is to
kill. But I survived. I retreat. I am a clam.
To bring my soul back to life is tomorrow’s journey, which is now today.
Basking in the strength of your stare
Two stones with intelligence and loyalty take away the air
Always there to help and challenge hard as steel filling with despair unyielding to the truth
Sitting in the silence with nothing needing to be said once comfortable and loving now distant and hard
A shell so deep and unbreakable nothing would be the same not after all trust was lost
A glimmer of hope could be seen as she tried clinging to loyalty but in the blink of an eye it all vanished as the black hole of mistrust tore everything apart
The only thing to be seen was a beautiful shade of green with memories past flooding through as a whisper was heard in the darkness